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You, my little jerk-tard, are a prime example of why submissive men should be kept in chastity. You can't stop humping your hand, can you? Your little dicklet needs some serious control, but you don't have the balls to lock it up. I've got a better idea. I know how much you love to jerk to me, but you're going to do this one hands-free. You're going to be doing the pillow hump dance in enthusiastic fashion! You need to get a nice, soft pillow to call your friend and get ready. You're going to make a nice little spoogey mess in your plump pillow.
