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So... you're a virgin. Honestly, I'm not surprised. I mean, look at you. You really ended up in the shallow end of the gene pool. You didn't get any defining or attractive features. No talent, no humor, no charm. It's kind of sad, but not really surprising. Some humans were just not meant to procreate.
With how bland and dull you are, it's best you don't ever get laid. You don't want to risk passing on those inferior genes. You're about as interesting and attractive as dry toast. You'll be a virgin forever. Which is fine, honestly.
It's better this way.
